“Today’s the Day”
3-minute read
“Today’s the Day”
3-minute read
The positive turn in Kelly’s life began with the Air Force Veteran sitting in her car, crying uncontrollably.
Kelly, in denial about the toll that heavy drinking and weight gain were taking on her health, had just visited her doctor for what she expected to be a routine review of lab results. Instead, her doctor told her, “I’m very concerned about you, and you need to start taking care of yourself.” He also told her she needed to start injecting insulin to manage her blood sugar levels.
“I was really in a personal shock about it. And I was panicking, and I got to my car and I started crying, I started bawling,” Kelly recounts.
“I called my best friend,” she continues, “and my best friend told me, ‘Well, you know, Kelly, it’s not anything new. You know you need to lose weight, you know you need to take care of yourself, and you know that you drink every day. This is not new news. But now it’s in your face. What are you going to do about it?’”
For a Veteran experiencing challenges, discussing them with a family member or friend can make a big difference. For Kelly, her friend’s response and candor helped propel her toward help. “I’ve got to do something today,” she responded. “Today’s the day.”
The best thing that I could ever do for myself
Rising through the ranks but feeling lonely
Kelly joined the Air Force Reserve in 1983. Looking for a sense of belonging, she would go to the enlisted club to drink, dance, and listen to music. “It was really more of a social thing, so I’d probably say my first maybe five years or so was just kind of fun,” she recalls.
Then Kelly became more serious about advancing her military career. She was proud to become a master sergeant, but the rise in rank also meant she couldn’t party with the people in her usual social circle because she had become their supervisor.
Instead, she drank alone.
“I was reaching the top, I was reaching all my goals, but I was lonely, and I drank more and more and more, and I started to isolate myself,” she says.
Worried that her heavy drinking would be discovered, she decided to retire from the Air Force Reserve in 2004. Retiring, she thought, would be part of the solution to her problems. Instead, they became worse.
“I didn’t have a sense of purpose. I just really didn’t know what to do,” she explains of her transition from service. Her drinking increased to a big bottle of wine a day. She gained weight. She couldn’t sleep.
Then came the visit to her doctor, the call to her friend, and her vow to herself.
Visiting a Vet Center for help
Now that she’d made the vow, Kelly needed a plan. Someone suggested she try a Vet Center, which Kelly didn’t even realize was an option.
Vet Centers are community-based counseling centers for Veterans and current service members, including members of National Guard and Reserve components. The centers provide a wide range of social and psychological services, including professional readjustment counseling. They also provide substance use assessment and referral.
“They had real counselors there, so I entered a day treatment program,” Kelly says. “That’s where I learned all about addiction, and that addiction is caused from pain. I learned how to acknowledge it and forgive, and forgive myself, too.”
Kelly stopped drinking, got her health issues under control, and feels happy again. She also feels compelled to share her story with other Veterans.
“It’s for other people that can connect with the pain and realize that we all have challenges in our life and we deal with them differently, and I dealt with them with alcohol. I learned how to be forgiving and move on, and I’m still Kelly, but I’m a better Kelly,” she says. “It was the best thing I could ever do for myself.”
