“Now I have the tools.” Veteran Recounts the Treatments That Helped Him Become Sober
Manuel: I wasn't good enough for the Navy, I wasn't good enough for a freaking nursing school. I was a drug addict guy who got in trouble in prison. I was just this pattern of destruction. And in the most unthinkable places, people cared about me.
Manuel, US Navy. I was both a quartermaster and a legalman. Served from 2005 to 2011. I had a very traumatic childhood. My dad was an alcoholic, Mom was a schizophrenic, and the Navy was the farthest way to go. Really, really just fell in love with being in the military. Unfortunately, on my second deployment, I contracted tuberculosis, and that really kinda changed the whole direction of my career. That really resulted in just me not being able to do my job to the best of my ability. And I had a psychotic break, that was how I got in trouble. Once I got sick, it just kind of spiraled down and I ended up getting kicked outta the Navy. Getting kicked out, losing my job, having a wife and two kids, I really was lost.
There's a program here for people that were separated from the Navy that you could become a registered nurse. I was like, "Let's try this nursing school," but I didn't know I was dealing with a lot of PTSD from service. They had given me Adderall, so I was addicted to Adderall. That translated into a methamphetamine addiction. The unemployment dried up, and I thought that going to do crime was the best way to support my habits instead of going to class, and ended up in prison because of that. I still continued in my addiction. I actually got rearrested in prison. So that six-year sentence became a 10-year sentence.
It was a crazy experience to be isolated for 23 hours a day. That's when reality hit. I got service connected while I was in prison. I did six months of substance use treatment. I understood through cognitive behavioral therapy, I was using drugs to really try to cover up some of my traumas, not only the traumas from my childhood, but the traumas from really losing my dream job. Cognitive behavioral therapy really, really made a difference in my life.
I did really good outta prison professionally. Got into a bachelor's program, got into a master's program, just got into a doctorate, went from literally no money to making six-figures within my first year outta prison.
I never thought that a kid from a drug-addicted family was gonna be accepted to a doctorate program and make a difference in his community. I didn't realize the trauma that incarceration had on my family. There's a ripple effect.
I was able to get a wonderful psychiatrist. He gave me an assessment, he said, "Hey, you do have PTSD, and I'm gonna refer you to community care, to a therapist. Having that access to that individual therapist, which has been cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy and EMDR, those three specific therapy modalities have really supported just my ability to restabilize. I still have a lot of work to do, but now I have the tools.
As military members, we understand that you have to do the mission no matter what, at all cost. Focus that mission mindset on your own mental health and on your own wellbeing. I was scared to ask for help. It took me to prison 'cause I was so scared to ask for help. But once I did, there's no ceiling to the successes I've had.
The VA really understands that the best way to get to Veterans is through Veterans. I was in handcuffs, I was in prison, but I work for the VA now. And I get to make a difference every day and be the proof to Veterans that change is possible. That's what keeps me sober. It doesn't mean that you're weak when you go look for help. A therapist is not somebody that wants to know all your deepest secrets, it's somebody that wants to bring out the best in you. I know that being Hispanic and being Mexican, I thought that going to a therapist was the worst thing I could do in my life, when in reality, it was the best thing that I did. And it's taught me to be the dad that I've always dreamed to be.
