Shaunne found light at the end of the tunnel
Shaunne:
I think because I had the issues with the multiple joint issues and that was causing constant pain, it led to depression, and that's when I was going to mental health was the depression. You really feel like you just, the only word I can think of is worthless. It's just you can't do anything right. Nothing in your life is working right. Everybody keeps saying, "oh, just snap out of it." But, it's not just snap out of it because you don't see that light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like this is where you are. This is where you're stuck forever.
I was trying to continue to move on of course because I had my son. I was a single parent, but many days I just wished I could just stay in bed for the entire day and just block out the rest of the world.
Believe it or not, it was a long time before I actually went to the VA, but then after I started going I realized okay, that's why things were happening as they were. That's why I felt the way I did about things. It made it a lot easier because then once I could recognize what was making me feel that way then I can like talk myself down off the ledge to where when I start having those feelings I can reach back into reality and say, "okay, no, this is what's really going on."
So, it's made life easier. I guess the biggest part of it was trying to find out the cause. Boiling it down to, I hadn't been in war, they run through all those other things, but it was just the changes in my life. Having to deal with my physical issues and not being able to do as much as I did while I was on active duty. So, you feel like just kind of half of a person. You didn't feel like you really measured up, and along with that, within the military you have a certain physical standard that you have to keep. Well, if you can't move, you can't exercise, then your physical appearance goes down because you gained weight or however. So, then it comes to that vicious cycle and all those things are different things that we talked about and how to maintain and how to see myself for what I am, not the picture that I made in my head.
