Marty's spirituality pointed him toward support

Marty’s spirituality pointed him toward support

Marty:

I'd done 2 tours and I felt guilty for not having done more. I felt that nothing was ever going to be better, that I was always going to feel this way, and I was always going to feel angry. I was always going to feel bad. I felt like there was no hope for me. Growing up I'd been very religious. When I joined the military, I was very religious. I felt God gave up on me.

One day, after a really bad day once… after a really bad day I literally cursed God. And it was something that I was brought up not to do. That was a bad day. I sat down, and I told God, I was like, “Just let me die. Just…I’m not gonna…just kill me.” It was bad.

Finally, and I have no clue exactly how or why it clicked, but one day I just sort of woke up. I was like, I don’t have to feel like this. So I started going back to church. I talked with the bishop at my church and we started working through a few things. And he suggested I go see somebody.

He was a psychiatrist that went to the same church I did. Because I was single, I was going to a singles congregation. He was very understanding. He helped bring some religious end of it, which brought me some healing I felt. He was able to explain some of the, some of the brain chemistry behind why I was feeling and some of the way my brain was working as to what I was experiencing and what I was feeling. And that brought a huge amount of relief.