Gus, an Army Veteran, had a hard time transitioning from service. He had trouble sleeping and would often feel bursts of anger and sadness during the day. After an emotional experience at a family outing, he realized it was time to get help. Therapy and meditation taught Gus to process his emotions and live a healthier life.
View Video TranscriptGus:
My name's Gus. I was an Army Infantryman and I graduated from West Point, joined the Infantry and served from 2004 to 2009. My dad served, my uncle served, both my aunts served, and so it's a very military family, and so I wanted to enlist too. So, I applied to West Point, got in and, you know, never looked back.
I noticed the mental health issues mostly when I got out of the service and I noticed it in three ways. One way was anger. One way was, you know, call it crying… just bouts of crying that came on out of nowhere, just being overwhelmed with emotion. And the third way was nightmares and just having a lot of trouble sleeping.
When I got out, the anger manifested in real unhealthy ways. So, you know, I remember people would notice sometimes the anger come up and I was a little bit too intense, a little bit too aggressive, and they would mention that, you know, “You might need to tone it down a little bit.” I didn’t have my emotions under control, I didn’t have my anger under control, and, you know, it was damaging not only to other people but to myself.
Any kind of little reminder of a service, you know, a jet or you would see an American flag or I might, you know, see somebody in camouflage, you know, don’t mention military movies or anything like that, and I would just get very, very emotional.
They had built out, in my high school this color guard, it was a really fantastic color guard and they had, you know, Cadets which were teenagers right, 14 to you know 16, 18. And they had Cadets dress up in uniforms and period gear from every war that America had ever been a part of. So, the first thing that hit me was, how young everyone was. It made me think of all the young people that had given their lives in service to the country since the founding. And it just kinda overwhelmed me as it does obviously today still. And I just took off and I went and kinda looked, you know, but I took off and I ran to the bathroom and just kinda sittin’ in a stall and let it out. I started crying, you know, and tried to get a hold of myself. At the time I had no idea where it was coming from. I was like, “Why am I getting overwhelmed so easily?”
I just couldn’t sleep. I would sit in bed and, you know, my mind would just be racing. It wouldn’t necessarily be military thoughts, but I couldn’t sleep. And then when I would fall asleep, I would have nightmares. Most of it was having to go back to Iraq that was like my main kinda nightmare like, “Oh, I’m gonna get called back for IRR and have to go back.” So those three things; the anger, the being overwhelmed with emotion, and the nightmares. I realized I didn’t want to live like that.
I spent the next, you know, two years in kinda this talk therapy with the Vet Center psychologist. I was telling him just about all of my symptoms with the anger, with being overwhelmed, you know, my emotional, crying, not sleeping, and he recommended thinking about meditation. It’s helped me get some detachment from the emotions and it’s helped me kinda of just be calm. It gives you some distance. You can see the anger coming up and you don’t have to act on it, and then if you think about it, and you watch it, it just goes away.
You know, when you respond to people with anger, you respond from a place of anger, you get that back. And so now when I’m trying to, you know, be more… respond from less of an angry place, people just respond so much more positively to you. And then if I find myself… hey I’m having trouble sleeping or I’m having trouble, you know, I’m getting overwhelmed or I’m getting angry, what is almost always the case is, I haven’t meditated enough, I haven’t exercised enough, I am drinking too much. And as soon as I do one of those, it helps. If you’re not sleeping, if you’re feeling angry, if you’re getting overwhelmed with your emotions, then absolutely go to a Vet Center and talk to somebody, because it is so helpful.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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