Marine Corps Reservist’s Advice on Getting Treatment: “Do it for yourself.”
One of my friends from my initial training passed away recently. She was in a helicopter accident on a training exercise. Puts into perspective what we all signed up for and that's giving the ultimate sacrifice. That's something that I'm still working through.
My name's Marissa. I am a part of the United States Marine Corps Reserves. I am an air defense control officer, and I have been in since 2017. Both my parents did 20 years in the Air Force Reserves. So from a young age, I knew I wanted to be in the Military. Being an officer, being in the Marine Corps, there was always someone to say, "Are you sure? I don't know." But I continued to push myself and had a few people that were in my support system, and that's why I am where I am today.
Right before I came off active duty, one of our Marines took his own life and then next week I was gone. I was off active duty. I was going into the Reserves. I was moving home with my wife. It was a hard time to transition. My wife, my family, my friends, they all saw it and I didn't, but I'm just going through the motions or trying to figure it out. So I was closed off. I didn't want to talk to nobody. I was having a hard time connecting with people again and just finding my purpose.
My first experience with mental health treatment, I mean, I was hesitant for so long to go and get help. From the stigma that's around going to get mental health, it's mind-blowing how much people are so against it. They're like, "Are you sure?" My therapist is a woman, and having someone to relate to as a woman has been great and she's been completely supportive of me being a part of the LGBTQ community. That hour is just for me and we go back and forth and we talk. It's so helpful to just have someone to talk to and me be able to be vulnerable and share my experiences with them.
I was diagnosed with depression and mild anxiety as well. I never noticed how much I had anxiety. If I'm in an environment or a situation where I am nervous or super anxious, how much I can even feel it in my body, feel weak in my knees, I feel lightheaded. Starting to be like, okay, well, I'm nervous right now, but being able to understand, okay, why am I nervous? There's people around me here supporting me. My wife's standing right next to me. Do I need to be nervous?
Some of the tools I learned through therapy is one of the biggest one is setting boundaries. Have people in my life that are going to complement my life, that are going to bring joy and honestly just going to lift me up. And through that, also just building my confidence with different situations. The one person and my biggest cheerleader and supporter through all of this when it came to going to get mental health, is my wife. If it wasn't for her, I would not have gone. I would probably still be struggling to this day.
My advice for anybody going to get mental health, do it for yourself. Don't do it for anybody else. Do it because you want to get better. You have support. Whether you see it or not, it's there. What I would say to others who want to be represented more in the Marine Corps is to continue to use your voice and when you are given that opportunity, take a seat at the table and allow yourself to be present in the moment and speak your truth.
