Unseen Battles: Mental Health Journeys of Vietnam Veterans
We had been reading and hearing about Vietnam since we were 11, 12 years old and the next thing we knew, we had grown up into 17- and 18-year-olds and it was staring us right in the face.
That was kinda the awakening when you got to Vietnam was the actual combat and the noise and the explosions and the bullets. But all of a sudden, it's time to go home.
I was approached by two guys and one female and as they approached me, they said "Hey soldier boy, where'd you come from?"And as I was standing up, I mentioned to 'em, "Just got back from Vietnam" and they just spit all over me.
When I got back, it wasn't like I belonged here anymore. I didn't have that home feeling anymore. It leaves a scar on your soul. You were afraid that people were gonna laugh at you.
Well when I came back home, I was extremely quiet. I never talked to my folks. I just put it all behind me.
It was a tough burden to carry back then 'cause when I'd first come back, I had to hide the fact that I was in Vietnam for the first 10 years. I didn't put it on a job application or anything like that. If they didn't ask for it, I didn't tell 'em.
When you come out of that and you feel that something's wrong, well, it's up to you to fix it. You're not encouraged to go seek help really.
Well my PTSD that I recognize now, I tried drowning it in alcohol. So to me, it was important to sit in a peer group and discuss, just talk about your experiences.
So I went into the Vet Center and was talking to the counselor there and telling him what was going on "Well, you have a classic case of PTSD." It takes a lot of work. In the Marines, you don't think, you just do.
It took me 30-plus years to start dealing with it. After having gone to the groups for a little while now, you're no longer spending all that energy trying to hold it in.
It's like a release. It makes you feel a little bit better about yourself and you realize that you aren't the only one feeling like that.
Just remember, there are people out there that can help. People are trained in what they're doing and they have the heart to help. You fought in a war, you were tough. All right, now you're out of it, you get tougher. Don't let the enemy defeat you at home. Every Veteran understands that but you're not gonna do that alone. You need somebody to walk you through it, help you through it.
Make that connection. That's hugely, hugely important.
